It’s tough to get to know someone, which makes first dates stressful. Holding up your end of the conversation is a dating necessity. Knowing what to say, or sometimes more importantly what not to say, can be the difference between a painfully awkward conversation and a second date. Listen to our first date tips rather than ruining several dates trying to figure out what are inappropriate first date questions.
First Date Tips: Here are 10 questions you should avoid if you want to make it to date number two.
#1: Do you like my….?
Asking a woman if she likes your clothes, hair, car or whatever else may be a genuine request for her opinion, but it will seem to her like you are fishing for compliments. Attention seeking behavior and displaying an urgent need for validation makes you seem insecure. Asking her approval of your personal choices also puts her in the uncomfortable position of potentially lying to spare your feelings or tell you the harsh truth.
#2: Are you republican or a democrat?
Political discussions can quickly become heated and overly aggressive. While it may be good to know which side of the isle your partner sits on, try to steer away from heavy political subject matter until you know a little bit more about her. This is essential from our first date tips from any Alpha Male.
#3: How did your last relationship end?
Bringing up the topic of any previous relationships, whether it is yours or hers, is a serious first date no-no and should always be avoided. It can be very awkward to talk about. Asking her to explain what may have been a traumatizing or heart-breaking experience to you, is a serious infringement on her privacy. Volunteering your heart-breaking experiences might make her think you’re still stuck on an ex, making her less likely to want to get involved.
#4: How many sexual partners have you had?
This is a question that truly should be avoided no matter where you are in the relationship. Not only is it an extremely personal question for a first date, the information doesn’t benefit you in any way. A person will be the same no matter how long or short their sexual roster is. It also makes you come off as jealous and controlling. Another essential from our first date tips.
#5: Do you work out very often?
While this may seem like an innocent question, it’s pretty safe to say that women don’t like the insinuation that their bodies are unattractive. What you may intend to be a question about whether or not she enjoys going to the gym can be received as subtle criticism about her physique. If you want to know if she’s into fitness, ask her what she enjoys doing and how she spends her time. If staying in shape is one of her priorities, it’ll come up.
#6: How much money do you make?
Asking a woman about her financial situation is incredibly offensive whether she is unemployed or the CEO of a huge company. If she is struggling financially, it could be embarrassing for her to discuss. If she is doing well, it may seem like you are looking for a partner who will financially support you. Either way, stay clear of money talk. Her bank account is none of your business.
#7: Do you have any STDs?
There are a couple of reasons this question is senseless on the first date. While it is information you are entitled to if you are going to sleep with someone, you don’t know if you are even going to get that far, so the question is premature. Even if you felt like things were headed in a sexual direction, it’s better to wait until this question can be answered confidently. No matter what the answer is, this question ruins the first date.
#8: How many kids do you want?
This question assumes things that can cause conversational tension. She may not want kids, so presuming that she does can make her feel gender stereotyped. Just because she is female doesn’t mean she is yearning to reproduce. It also assumes that her family plans are your business, which they are not. Remember that this is the first date. A woman’s maternity and fertility isn’t something that she should have to discuss with someone who isn’t her partner.
#9: Can I come back to your place?
The sad truth is that the possibility for sexual violence is something that women have to be concerned about when dating. Putting pressure on her to not only interact with you physically, but to also disclose where she lives can make her feel unsafe. If sexual chemistry is there on the first date, let her ask you back to her place. Making her feel anxious and pressured won’t help you seal the deal any quicker. Be patient. Give her a chance to feel comfortable with you.
#10: How many dates does it usually take for you to be comfortable enough for sex?
This is the question that is often asked if a woman makes it clear that sexual intimacy is not on the menu. Asking this question means that you are impatient, immature and makes her feel like if she gets to that many dates with you, then she is somehow obligated to sleep with you. Concentrate more on getting to know her and less about getting her in bed.
The first date should be fun and simple. Take the opportunity to get to know your dates likes and dislikes, but don’t risk ruining a potentially great relationship with inappropriate questions. But listen, that’s what we are here for. Keep reading our blog and subscribe to our newsletter for even more first date tips and other related materials.