Lying is something at which I have never been great. My face is incredibly expressive, so it’s tough for me to say my day was “okay” if, in reality, it was a nightmare.
Throughout my life, this has been both a blessing and a curse because there have been times when I have wished I could lie and say things are okay, even when they’re not, so I don’t have to deal with them.
On the other hand, the fact that I can’t lie to others, or even to myself, has forced me to try to come to terms with things about which I’m not happy and need to change.
I try to be as honest as possible with every situation I encounter, but some situations prove to be particularly challenging, as oftentimes, I don’t want to face the truth.
I believe that there are several “hard truths” most people face at some point in their lives; it’s hard to be honest and admit the truth, but it’s even harder to know what to do next. Here are five truths that, at one time or another, most of us have to handle:
1. I Hate My Job
No one should wake up dreading the day before it even starts. If you find yourself in a panic on Sunday nights because you’re dreading the next day, or you stare at the clock at work waiting until you can leave every day, you probably hate your job.
That’s okay; some jobs are really terrible (believe me, I’ve had a few) and are not worth the stress or sadness they cause. The trick is being able to acknowledge that you’re not happy at your job and that you need to make a change.
It’s hard and it’s scary, but it’s far better to put in the effort to find something else to which you can happily dedicate your energy.
2. I Need A Change
Whether it’s finding a new job, learning a new skill or moving to a new apartment/city/country, needing a change is perfectly normal when you find yourself in a rut. Sometimes, we can get a little too comfortable with a life that feels mediocre because it’s safe.
But, a mediocre life is a boring life, so why not shake things up and change something? Not all changes need to be as drastic as relocating or changing career paths; simple changes are good, too. Change your hair, your routine or your location temporarily and visit a new place.
Making changes, both big and small, allows us to learn new things and also restore a bit of faith in ourselves. Having faith in yourself is never a bad thing and it’s something most of us could stand to do a bit more often.
3. I’m Not In Love With Her Anymore
This is one of the most painful truths that we must realize. When the flame dies, the intimacy disappears and the laughing and kissing turns into fighting or even ignoring, it usually means the love in a relationship is gone.
I’ve heard people claim that they still love their estranged partners and I’m sure they do, so I usually counter by asking whether or not they’re still IN love with their partners. If you have to stop and think about it, the answer is probably no.
Love is not conditional and it is not one-sided, so if you can truly say, “I’m not in love with him/her anymore” to yourself, the next step is having that universally dreaded conversation.
However, it is far kinder to yourself, as well as to the other person, to be able to recognize when the love is gone and to go your separate ways. It hurts, but it doesn’t hurt forever.
4. I’m Not Over It
You can tell anyone and everyone that you’re over your breakup, your fight with a friend or your traumatic incident, but only you will know when you’ve really come to terms with it. The thing to remember is there is no time limit for healing from hurt.
If you’re not over it, let yourself continue to grieve. Time is one of the best healers; don’t rush it. If your friends no longer want to hear about your breakup, try getting through it on your own.
Also, remember that there’s nothing wrong with seeking help. If something terrible happened to you and it’s affecting your daily life, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in doing healthy, positive things to take care of yourself.
5. I’m Not Happy
This can be one of the hardest truths to admit and one of the hardest to fix. One thing that makes it so difficult is that it can catalyze other realizations about things that need to be fixed.
When I realized I wasn’t happy, mainly due to my job, I also realized I hated my entire job field and needed to find a completely different way to work.
When I realized I wasn’t happy with my last girlfriend I subsequently realized I wasn’t in love with her anymore and that I wasn’t happy living in the city where I was living and needed to move.
You will realize you’re not happy when days blur together and when you have to pry yourself from bed every morning because you can’t identify anything to which you can look forward. The things you used to love no longer make you happy.
Identify the parts of your life that make you happy and the parts that make you upset, stressed or disappointed. If you can narrow your view from “I’m not happy” to what specifically affects your happiness, you can start to make changes from there.
It is certainly not easy to admit the truth when the truth is undesirable or difficult to change, but being able to admit it and then taking steps toward changing it will bring you far more happiness in the long run.
My dad always tells me, “What we resist persists, so do yourself a favor when something is bothering you; have the strength and courage to be honest with yourself about it. You deserve it!”