Look for the Best Mentor

It’s hard to name people who are manlier than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan, and Vince Lombardi. And they all had mentors. 

A lot of men think having a mentor makes them seem weak. They think only fledgling or insecure people would need a mentor, but the exact opposite is true. Alpha males know that as they navigate toward goals, mentors can make them even more powerful than they would be on their own. They don’t worry about the potential stigma of having a mentor. Alpha males pay attention to reality. And the truth is: Two heads are better than one, find a mentor!

While you might think of a mentor as someone who helps with only your career, you also can have mentors who help with finances, relationships, nutrition, and fitness. Indeed, having multiple mentors to turn to for advice is a common trait of successful alpha males. Anyone with more experience can be your mentor, so long as you trust him. 

Keith Ferrazzi, author of the best-selling book Never Eat Alone and a relationship master, calls his mentors his “learning faculty”. In a recent interview with the Alpha Male Club, Keith said:

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“[W]e often think of our learning and our education as being the end, but the most important element of your learning begins when you stop being trained. Ten percent of your learning is training. Ninety percent of your learning is experience. So be serious about curating the people you’re going to learn from. A lot of people call those mentors. I don’t care what you call them. And by the way, you don’t need just one mentor.

  • You need a rich tapestry of mentors who can teach you what you need to learn in whatever fields and categories.
  • You need a mentor for being a great husband.
  • You need a mentor for being a great dad.
  • You need multiple mentors in your business.
  • You need mentors all over the place.”

As you create your cadre of mentors, remember that they come in all shapes and forms. There can be mentors at work, in your religious community, or in your basketball league. You can have mentors that you access online, like those in the following clubs, which offers you advice from successful men all over the world. You can even reach out to friends you already know who might be a little more knowledgeable in a particular area than you. 

Be creative as you find a mentor around your world, who you want to invite to be a mentor. Specifically, seek out those who provide you with honest feedback, and surround yourself with positive, productive male role models. Take it from a professional arena football player, Lewis Howes. 

Lewis was living in his sister’s house and sleeping on her couch. There aren’t many things that are less emasculating, but instead of letting it get him down, Lewis transformed. 

Soon, he was running a seven-figure business.

“I think what has really helped me was [that] I had awareness to do a couple of things. One was to reach out to positive, successful mentors of mine, or people that I wanted to be mentored by, and just ask them for advice. So I was doing that constantly.”

If Lewis Howes can make such a huge leap with the help of mentors, what can you do? Where can you find a mentor who will help you transform? And keep in mind: You don’t have to call someone up and say, “Hey, will you be my mentor?” You can just start seeking the advice of people more knowledgeable than you. Invite them to dinner. Call them up and run ideas by them. Just start getting exposure to those people who can help you make radical leaps (or even small steps).

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Todd Herman, owner of the sports psychology consulting company Peak Athlete, even suggested creating imaginary mentors. 

“Successful people hold court with other successful people, and sometimes it’s not even with them in the room. So they have five imaginary advisers in their own mind, and they ask themselves the question, “What would Abraham Lincoln do?” Because when you ask yourself that question, it causes you to then try and imagine how he would approach it, and it gives you different insights.”

According to Forbes.com they mention some tips to follow:

Be clear on what you want. Before looking out for mentors, write down your expectations and the role you want them to play. Example: Do you want someone to assist you in learning about something specific in the industry or share with you guidelines on how to be a successful entrepreneur?

Think outside the box and don’t restrict yourself. Open your eyes, amazing mentors can be found in a bunch of places, so start looking outside your current comfort zone. Hey this can be anywhere from non-profit organizations, your college or university, within your family, church groups, even community groups such as business chambers of commerce.

Set up a meeting. Once you have a potential mentor, ask to meet and discuss a possible mentoring relationship. Asking for mentoring is an important step to make certain you’re both clear on the terms. Make sure this meeting takes place somewhere that is comfortable and where both can speak in confidence.

Be clear with your mentor. Now that you’ve found a mentor, you have to make sure there is a commitment between the both of you. Try to be clear on the time requirements and choose a date for the next meeting.

 Best resources to find an online mentor: