Overnight Etiquette: How to Ask to Sleep Over and How to Leave in the Morning

Dating always comes with some lines of confusion. Aside from wondering if you are looking for commitment or fun, there is also a long list of unspoken rules. Overnight etiquette is one of the big ones. Do you invite yourself, or do you get her to invite you? Do you go to her place or your place? When you leave in the morning, what do you say? Coming prepared with answers to these questions will make the entire event go much more smoothly.

1. Staying Overnight

Direct your conversations throughout the night towards lighter topics like music, games or hobbies. When she mentions an interest that collides with yours, use that as a good transition to invite her over. For example, if she mentions that she is interested in books and you’ve got a pretty impressive collection, invite her over to look at them with you. If she’s interested in video games, invite her over to play them with you. If you want to take it a step further and add some romance, find out what her favorite dessert is and have it waiting at your place. Invite her over for desert and wine.

2. Getting Her Comfortable in Your House

Before planning a night at your place, make sure the house is presentable. Having your home clean and well-stocked with toilet paper and assorted things to snack on is recommended. If the place is a mess and the only things in the fridge are condiments and alcohol, she won’t be comfortable staying. If you don’t have toilet paper, she won’t be staying long. It may seem ridiculous, but many men don’t consider something as small as having enough bathroom tissue.

Pay attention to your date’s interests and pre-plan some activities to make her comfortable in your place. Don’t immediately offer her a tour of the house unless she asks for one. If she thinks you’re just herding her to the bedroom, she’ll most likely find a reason to leave. However, if she asks for a tour, feel free to show her the bedroom because there are few women who don’t know what an invite over to the house suggests. Remember, just because she came over doesn’t always mean she’s going to stay, so putting in some thought and making her comfortable upon arrival can go a long way.

3. Moving to the Bedroom

Now that she’s comfortable, it’s time to make a move. The essential factor here is body language. If she’s being receptive to your touches, then it’s time to move in for a kiss. Asking, “Can I kiss you?” is extremely frowned upon. Move in slowly, kiss her cheek and move close to her mouth. She’ll show her interest by moving closer to receive a kiss. Don’t get pushy; kiss her for a while until she makes the next move, like mentioning the bedroom or physically suggesting something more than kissing. From this point, go with the flow.

4. What You Don’t Do

What to do can change between some women, but what not to do stays fairly consistent. Respect is everything; if she doesn’t seem like she wants to stay, then don’t fuss about it. Don’t beg! Most women find it appalling. Don’t say things such as, “We can just cuddle.” This is the quickest way to ensure you never see her again. Don’t ask her if she enjoyed it or any other questions that may suggest you are not confident in your ability to please her.

5. Leaving in the Morning


The most obvious etiquette method here is to make sure she isn’t rushed out the door. If you plan on having her back, be prepared for a breakfast or at least coffee. Stay affectionate and physical so that she doesn’t assume it’s just a one-night stand. Let her use your shower before she goes because no woman wants to make it obvious that she never made it home the night before.

6. Walk Her Out

If she shows herself out, she won’t find herself walking back in. Take a moment to walk her to her car, if she drove, and even open up her door for her. It’s important to remember that women can sometimes experience a social stigma when they sleep with someone new, and putting in the extra effort to make them feel like a woman will be much appreciated. If you drove, walk her to her door. The big point here is to make sure she never has to walk through public eye in last night’s clothing.

7. Judge Your Situation

Being considerate of these tips is sure to get you a repeat visit. Whether you’re looking for a long- or short-term relationship, it’s in your best interest to mind some manners. Offending women can lead to some dramatic situations, and no one wants anything to do with that. Mind some overnight etiquette, and it will keep you both satisfied.